COUCHPOTATUS SUPLEX

Prone to .... well, just plain prone....

The first important dinosaur was the Couchpotatus Suplex.. Well, not really important, but there, definitely there. This supine dinosaur was the first known land-creature (so called because in the absence of bubblebath he tended to carry around a couple of cubic feet of land in his greasy, yet disheveled scales). Little is known about this important dinosaur. Like most creatures with brains the size of peas (particularly the ones without hands) his handwriting was pretty bad and thus most of his diary is completely unintelligible. All scientists can do is estimate its birth date to have been "a long long time ago" (B.C., obviously) or somewhere in that range. For a few geologic ages after the Couchpotatus developed, nothing much happened: Mammals evolved slowly, public television held its first fund-raiser (The Pleistocene and about half of the Jurassic), and American manufacturers bitterly fought for restrictive tarrifs on Japanese imports.

Generally inert, when not engaged in brisk bouts of sleep, the Couchpotatus subsisted on a diet of cold pizza and potato chips, occasionally leavened with the odd infusion of salsa or cheese to 'balance that diet.' The Couchpotatus was an avid football fan, brutal sadist, and fiscal conservative. All in all, he was probably Republican.